Ok. here we go… ts time to get my mommy body into shape. Enter Bikini Body Mommy Challenge 2.0 . I used to train 2 times a day 6 days a week because I wanted to one day compete in Fitness Canada competitions. Well, after 3 fractured ribs and a pregnancy drowning in fear of losing my baby, needless to say I am VERY out of shape. I wanted to continue with BodyRock.tv workouts but I just wasn’t feeling the new hosts and it seems pretty fake now that the original host is gone, and that I don’t even see Lisa that much 😦
So here I am at day 2 and it kicked my butt, I have NEVER been good at burpees, and I hate jumping, and this workout was full of both ! I did skipping jumps while Lady Bug was bouncing in her jolly jumper laughing at me. It was a little hard to focus 🙂
I made a big mistake of baking a cake on day one ’cause I was bored… now I’m working out and having cake for dessert… Once that’s gone im going to purchase the meal plan as well and really take this seriously.
These measurements aren’t exact as all I had was a string and a tape measure, but I will have a proper tape for my 15 day progress check. Starting weight is 122.5 lbs
I just had my first mommy play date! Those of you that know me are aware that I don’t have the most female friends, and the ones I have, have a tendency to leave me out of ‘play dates’ and meet ups. That’s normally fine by me, I’ve never really meshed with women, but now that I am a mom seeing others get together so close to me and not inviting me makes me feel snubbed; I want my little girl to have friends her age. “I thought we all liked each other, guess not.” Is the thought that crosses my mind every time I see this. So, I decided to stop wallowing in my perceived rejection and create my OWN mommy group and invite people myself. If I’m not invited to your soiree, I’ll make up my own 🙂
We met at Lafarge Lake, a small man made lake near my house. There were originally 5 of us getting together, but mommy duties forced 3 to postpone. So it was just me and one other woman (and our babies or course). “What am I going to say to her? How are we going to get along just one on one? What if she doesn’t like me?” I felt like a teenager again going on my first date. Well just my luck, she is a Chatty Kathy just like me. We hung out for 3 hours and the conversation never died down. She didn’t care that Lady Bug has day time purple crying, it didn’t embarrass her when we were eating sushi and my little angel decided to start screaming at the top of her lungs. We just finished our lunch, packed up, and went on our way. It was so awesome to have someone with me; if I had been alone I would have been freaking out that Lady Bug was crying and totally embarrassed.
At the end of our date we made plans to hang out again. I’m excited to maybe have another friend for me, and possibly a buddy for my Lady Bug. Now, what’s the rule for calling a mommy back? Do I wait the customized 42 hours? LOL
The photo was shot by me, just not during my mommy date. Check out my other work on Facebook: Miss Adventure Photography
Its been a crazy couple of weeks. Lady Bug had her second baby shower (yup second, it’s what happens in divorced families) and she was the Belle of the Ball. Charming and cute and oh so… oh no wait, that’s not my daughter. She cried practically the entire time, nobody but me was allowed to hold her (according to her) and if they tried she screamed like someone just cut off a finger. I felt horrible with friends and family that I have known forever trying to hold her and all she did was scream. People took time out of their lives to come celebrate her, the least she could do was let them snuggle her. Unfortunately she’s a baby and she doesn’t see reason like us grown ups do. Geesh. Thankfully everyone there had their own kids. They knew what it was like, not only did they have their own kids but there were also nurses there, and even one that specialized in babies. I still was embarrassed that I didn’t look like supermom with it all together and the perfect angelic baby, but at least everyone understood.
I am still trying to come to grips with my lack of mommy skills, my baby has Purple Crying or Colic as it was once known and it wears you down until you think that there is no way you can go another day. Top this off with me being alone with her for 16+ hours a day and having next to no support you can be sure to welcome Post Partum Anxiety or Post Partum Depression. I am now suffering from both, lucky me. The anxiety presented itself first, or at least its what I noticed first. It is NOT normal for you to be afraid to do everything with your baby. I hadn’t even gone into a Starbucks until Lady Bug was 10 weeks old and when I finally did I was so anxious I nearly threw up. I would sit in the truck and let B go in for us. If we went in someone would spill their coffee on her, or step on her in her car seat, or they would trip and she would fall out of her stroller (yes she was strapped in, but anxiety knows no boundaries). Letting my mother in-law push her in her stroller also caused extreme anxiety for me. What if she leaned on the stroller and tipped it over? The one and only time I let her push the stroller I walked in front of them crying, shaking and again extremely nauseous. This is just the tip of the iceberg, I also wake up every hour or so just to make sure she is still breathing. I cant afford the Levana Oma so I don’t get the same security that this device would offer me by having an alarm go off if she stopped breathing. On top of all this I can’t seem to keep anything clean enough. B says the house is so clean we could eat off the floors, but I don’t see it. I am constantly freaking out because nothing s clean or organized. He has finally noticed me suffering and has agreed that we will go to counselling together. Thank God.
Not everything has been bad though. We have started a sleep schedule and for the last three weeks it has been going great at night time. I wrap her in her Woombie after having an aromatherapy bath and she sleeps for 2-3 hours at a time, wakes up only to eat then goes right back to sleep. This constant in our lives has helped me relax at night and I too am even getting a couple hours of sleep here and there. I also went and stayed with my dad and his wife for nearly 2 weeks and they were a great help. Lady Bug loves going to them and it gives me a break to pass her off to someone that I know will be able to calm the screams. This gives me some very much needed me time and I even had the luxury of a bath or shower, not to mention the joy of being able to brush my teeth and my hair! She is also turning into the happy smiling baby that I have been dreaming of for the past 12 weeks. Every single morning when it is time to wake up (so she says) I am greeted with great big smiles, and its at that moment that I know she loves me and is happy to see me, even if I am doing everything wrong.
I wouldn’t be able to continue without the help and support of my family. I am excited to start counselling and I can’t wait to be able to enjoy my baby without the constant crippling fear that something bad is going to happen and she will be taken away from me.
If you think you may be suffering from Post Partum Depression or Anxiety click HERE for a list of symptoms. Having friends and family around to help you is great for prevention but is not always possible. Search for a Mommy Group near you and don’t be afraid to drop in. They won’t judge you, trust me.
Lady Bugs headband was purchased HERE and was made by a talented Stay At Home Mom.