You’re Pregnant Babe!

Getting pregnant is the fun part.  Being pregnant, for some, means glowing skin, bigger boobs and a nice round butt. For me, it was 7 months of daily puking, hot flashes, shakes and an unprecedented amount of fear.

When I first found out I was pregnant it was following a month of being so incredibly ill that I couldn’t even get out of bed without vomiting.  I lay on the couch at home for weeks.  Missing work, missing everything, not knowing what was going on.  I was ready to blame Cactus Club Restaurant for feeding me bad seafood or beef because all my sick feelings hit me at once the day after eating there.  The trained chef in me knew there was no way food poisoning could last a month, but maybe it could.  So after that first month my breasts started hurting, hurting so bad B’ couldn’t even hug me.  Now I know what you are all thinking “Obviously she’s pregnant, how did she not figure it out?”  Well I didn’t figure it out because this has all happened before, and I can guarantee there was definitely no baby.  Now he is starting to worry, only unlike me, he hasn’t been told his whole life he will never have kids so the first thing he says to me is, “babe I think you’re pregnant”.  I tell him he’s crazy, but since I don’t get regular periods, and I’ve been sick for so long I ask him to go get us a pregnancy test, just to make sure.  He comes home after work that day with a pregnancy test.  I read the instructions, and realize I should take it in the morning to get the most accurate results – good luck sleeping tonight- we go to bed, and I’m up at 6am with him to take the test.  Pee on the stick and wait 3 minutes.  Well the little miracle + sign didn’t even wait 30 seconds to show up.  Still in denial I flip it over, hand it to ‘B’ and ask him to tell me what it says after 3 minutes.  Heck maybe I’m not pregnant and the + will go away.  It didn’t.  Shock sets in.

‘B’ takes the day off work to deal with his crazy girlfriend who is in shock and refuses to believe she is pregnant.  I made him take me to a walk-in clinic where they did a second test, which again confirmed that YES I was pregnant.  Cue the paranoia.  ” Oh my God, I had a glass of wine last week, and 2 drinks the week before that.  Did I damage the baby? Is she going to be ok?  Oh is there something I can also do about this crippling morning sickness?  I drank coffee every single day!”

Word to the wise, not all walk-in clinics are created equal.  This doctor gave me a prescription for Diclofenic for the nausea and told me it was no problem for me to drink 7 cups of coffee a day and eat sushi whenever I want, oh and would I like for her to me my OB.  “No thank you!”

At least now I will have the funs story to tell my daughter.  “Oh yes your dad told me I was pregnant, not the other way around.”


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